If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. So here I am again with my Xmas wish list. If it looks like I am begging for some of these things, you are probably right. Just working on the list invoked some primordial desire to obtain as many of these items as I could, so a few of them are already in my possession. So, here goes.

1. Spectron 1000 watt class “D” power amp. It has been beating everything in shoot outs across the country. Designed by John Ulrich, who started Infinity back in the 60’s.

2. Four Alesis M20 20 bit ADAT. Ok, I’m greedy. They are going to be as addictive as potato chips. Bet you can’t own just one.

3. Pro Tools 4.1 24 bit hard disk recording system including new 24 bit 888 I/O boxes. Nothing sounds like 24 bit! I’m going to transfer all of my CD collection to 24 bit. (Someone out there is going, “Yeah, me too!”)

4. A Breitling Emergency. A Titanium Aerospace watch with built-in ELT (Emergency Locator Transmitter) for pilots.

5. Two Apogee AD8000 24 bit A/D converters with AMBUS 24 bit D/A card and AMBUS Pro Tools interface.

6. Meyer HM-1 Studio near field monitor system with the HM-1 Subwoofer. Following in the tradition of the HD-1 monitors that I use for mixing.

7. Mackie HUI hardware interface for Pro Tools, so it acts like a real console.

8. Yamaha CDR-400 CD recorder. Proving to be the new standard with 4x record, 6x playback and 2 megabyte buffer.

9. 100X CD-ROM drive for my PC. Yup, they exist and they are only $169. I’m waiting for someone to get hurt by the shrapnel when a high speed CD comes apart while turning at 50,000 rpm.

10. DVD-R so I can record my own DVD discs. Guess I’ll be waiting awhile for this one.

11. Brooke Siren AR-416 rack mount direct boxes. I have been using the stand alone AR-116 for 10 years. I need more!

12. Sony V-77 effects processor. These things just keep getting better.

13. Z-Systems 32x32 digital audio router. I have too many things for my 8x8. I hope Glen is designing the 64x64.

14. Inertially guided DSS satellite dish. It is designed for boats. The antenna stays locked on the satellite even when the boat is bounding over the waves. I wonder if it would work during an L.A. earthquake. I would hate to miss The X-Files because of some silly tembler.

15. Sharper Image LASER range finder. Accurate to within one yard up to 800 yards. I could keep it right next to my LASER sighted blow gun with the poison darts.

16. Turbine powered yacht. I saw one. It had two 4000 horsepower jet engines that would push this 50 foot cabin cruiser over 70 knots. With this kind of technology, you could water ski behind the Queen Mary II.

17. Genex eight channel 24 bit 96kHz optical disc recorder.

18. Aardvark’s Master Sync provides a common clock to all of your digital devices. No more clicks and pops.

19. Panasonic Linear Motor razor. Yup, the carbotitanium blades are speed controlled by an optical sensor so they don’t get over 12,000 cycles per second.

20. T.c. electronics FierworX digital effects processor with 24 bit A/D and DA converters.

21. Garmin GPS III Pilot. What the heck, this would be my 5th GPS receiver, but who’s counting.

22. A gift certificate from MARS. Either the planet, or the music store. Makes no difference to me.

23. A new Titanium road bike from Ernesto’s Bike Shop in Miami. Some “girl” kicked my but on a 50 mile bike ride today, and I’m pissed. Maybe they make turbine powered bicycles?

24. M&K MPS-150 THX speaker system with MPS-150 SUR Tripole surround speakers. Yes, I said THX certified. I heard them in L.A. two weeks ago hooked up to a Yamaha 02R with version 2 software mixing 5.1 surround.

25. J.L. Cooper software for controlling multiple Yamaha 02R consoles. All of your parameters and mix data is stored on the computer instead of in the 02R.

26. Magellan hand held. GSC-100 combination GPS navigation receiver and satellite communication system. It sends and receives directly from the ORBCOMM network of up to 28 satellites. You can send and receive e-mail from the middle of the Pacific Ocean, or downtown Truth Or Consequences New Mexico. A must have for any Gear Slut.

27. A Little River Marine single scull rowing craft. You know, one of those needle shaped rowing boats like George Peppard sculled during the opening credits of “Banecek”.

28. Seagate 23 Gigabyte Fast/Wide SCSI hard disk. Now you have almost enough room for recording.

29. DLT-4000 backup tape drive. Back up those 23 Gig drives at hard disk speeds. Up to 40 Gig per tape.

30. More Monster Cables. You can never have too many Monster Cables.

That ought to hold you for another couple of years. Let me know if you get any of this for Christmas so I can say, “See, honey! His wife bought him one, why can’t I have one?”